Classic Scottish Insults

4 shiney stars

 

Aye, some absolute beauties in here laddie. Enjoy

  • She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back
  • Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan
  • Had more hands up her than sooty!
  • She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle
  • It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
  • She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
  • I wouldn't ride her into battle.
  • Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
  • I wouldn't do her with a rusty pole
  • Mair chins than a Chinese phone book
  • She smells like an alkies carpet
  • She has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
  • It's like shaggin a pail of water.
  • It's like shaggin the sleeve off a wizards cloak!
  • She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
  • Fanny like a ripped out fireplace
  • Face like a sand blasted tomato
  • Arse like a bag of washing
  • She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
  • She's seen more helmets than Hitler
  • Face like a stuntman's knee
  • She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
  • Like opening the window and shagging the night
  • She's seen more cockends than weekends
  • I left her with a face like a painter's radio
  • Fanny like a clown's pocket
  • Fanny like a Hippo's yawn
  • She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out
  • I bet she's got a fanny like a pub carpet
  • More pricks than a second hand dartboard.
  • Face like a blind joiners thumb
  • She's done more lengths than Duncan Goodhew
  • She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo
  • Even the tide wouldn't take her out
  • Got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard
  • Handled more balls than Dino Zoff
  • Pish flaps like John Wayne's saddle bags
  • She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout
  • A c*nt like a burst couch
  • A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters
  • She's had more seamen than Saltcoats
  • She's seen more stiffs than Quincy !
  • She's seen more cokes than a bottle of Bacardi!
  • Cocked more times than Elmer Fudd's shotgun


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